The Longest Journey

Once again I apologize for being absent. Wanting to write and having the time to write are two different things. I finally feel like we have the house put back together. I have been swamped trying to get the school year organized as we switch from one primary album set to another; all the things I should have completed during the summer but didn't for a long list of reasons. I’m thrilled with the new direction and new daily plan. At the same time, I’m feeling a bit discouraged that I’m shifting things up at this stage in the game. I have found myself back at that juncture where I’m trying to figure out what I still need to buy or what I’m just going to skip since I’m not a millionaire. And then I realize I’m going to have to make. more. cards. Ugh.

I want my crystal ball. The one that tells me exactly what will work best for my kids and save my sanity. I want to know what I should buy and what we’ll get nothing out of. I want to know exactly what to make and the fastest possible way to make it. I also want to pretend that I don’t have an entire set of elementary albums that I needed to read over vs. making a primary switch. But alas, it doesn't work that way. Since my family is unique, I’m the only one that can really come up with the answers. I just wish the process was a little less trial and error.  :-)

I spent many years involved with a number of homeschooling families long before I had children; many who homeschooled their children through graduation. While that experience was devoid of Montessori love, it taught me a lot about what a homeschool journey really looks like. I've yet to find one family who would define it as easy; in fact, nearly all told me it was the hardest thing they've ever done. I also didn't find a single family who has stuck with the initial plan and didn't have to readjust the approach and curriculum. Life just doesn't work that way. I doubted it would be different for me and life hasn't disappointed me on that front.

There are a lot of good things happening. I’m thankful that since I'm homeschooling, I can adjust to meet the unique and specific needs of my children. At the same time, I want to share how I’m feeling when we hit a rough patch or transition because I think it’s all too easy to think everyone else has it figured out. Well, I don’t. And if my past has taught me anything, I probably won’t anytime soon. My kids keep moving the target. Homeschooling is a full time job. I’m terrible at chores and my house is a mess. I’m low in patience and motivation can be a struggle when I’m spent. I have threatened to sell the classroom and printed out school enrollment forms more than once. Thank goodness that my husband has a sense of humor. And fortunately, I can usually bring myself back to the big picture of why I’m doing it in the first place.

All of my homeschooling friends who have made it to the end have told me it was worth every second.

I still believe them.

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